Admiral Test

Drink Review: Punisher Punch

The Punisher is back and he's ready to put a few slugs in your low energy levels.

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The Punisher Energy Drink

I took a trip to our local mall the other day in search of an adventure.

After eating some general tso’s chicken, I decided to walk into our mall’s Hot Topic store. On a side note, who is this general who makes this chicken? Like, what chicken war did he fight in and is he mad that people are eating his chicken?

Anyway, I really hate going into Hot Topic because everything is real expensive and faggy. I remember when this Hot Topic first opened and I thought it was real cool. It had a lot underground music and nostalgic pop culture memorabilia, but in recent years it's really gone down hill and devoted most of it's inventory to tight pants and Insane Clown Posse merchandise.

Despite hating the store, I'll occasionally check out the store in hope of finding something amusing and worthwhile. This turned out to be a very worthwhile trip to Hot Topic I found this badass N.W.A t-shirt.

Also, my friend asked if they had this "Wolverine is my Hero" shirt in a bigger size, but he was informed that they only make the shirt in girl sizes and that the text "Wolverine is my Hero" is actually written in lipstick and not blood, like we originally thought.

Thankfully, he found a shirt worthy of being reviewed and analyzed in it’s own article.

So, check out this Transforer Soundwave DJ shirt. Go ahead and let your mind comprehend what‘s going on with that thing. And if you can’t find the shirt, you better hope that “Club Decepticon” is open to dance away your stress.

I’m just gonna say that I don’t think you’re ever going to find a cooler picture than this, so don’t even try.

I was just about to leave with my single N.W.A t-shirt purchase when I spotted some items on clearance. They had a lot of those shitty Twilight stickers and ICP Juggalo Juice, but my wiener was really blown clear off at the site of these items.

And now my big loop around the point of this article is been completed.

The Punisher is my 2nd all time from comic book character after Batman. I don’t really think he needs an introduction, but I’ll just that he really kicks some ass. I’m a big fan of all three Punisher movies, especially the 1989 Dolph Lundgren version (more on that down the road).

Anyway, I was delighted that a energy drink has been created in his honor. It seems like everything is being made into an energy drink these days and I’m kind of interested in seeing if I can collect them all.

Now to the dedicated Punisher fan or energy drink fan, you may have known about the existence of “Punisher Punch”. I must be slipping in my old age, though, because this one flew right over my head. Upon further research, however, I am perhaps convinced that I now own some of the last remaining Punisher punches in the world because no one seems to be talking about these.

I also noticed that there is another flavor or there was going to be another flavored Punisher energy drink entitled Punisher “Justice Drink”, but it looks like justice will never be served for this drink. Anyway, I got home and chilled one of my Punisher punched and poured it into a glass for photo purposes.

As you can see from the lovely photo, Punisher Punch has a fine red, almost magenta coloring. Perhaps colored or made from the blood of the Punisher’s victims

Now, you’re probably thinking to yourself “Hey, what if it’s a hot day out and I just got done horse back riding and need to reenergize? Should I reach for a cold Punisher Punch? Will it punish my thirst and sleepiness?”

Well, I can’t answer any of that because I think horses are smelly, but I can tell you that it will punish your taste buds because this thing tastes pretty bad.

I really don’t like the taste of most energy drinks in general, so my opinion might be a little biased. If I had to describe the taste, I’d say it tastes red with some other fruity tastes, shit and punishment. But I guess it’s no worse than a standard energy drink like a Red Bull or a Rockstar.

It’s also super carbonated. So maybe if you’re into energy drinks, you might like it but you’re probably never going to find one. I’d much rather have some Kool-Aid or Gatorade.

On a scale of “1” to “Punish” I’d give it like, a bajillion because we don't talk about shitty stuff here on Admiral Snuggles.

I gotta say, though, it looks real good on my shelf with my other novelty energy drinks.

- Corey

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